After spending more than a week at the Residence Inn near the Texas Medical Center in Houston, I was glad to return to Louisiana and at least the sense of family togetherness (two dogs and the pig included of course). Perhaps not the most exciting place in the world, the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain does have its moments, and I participated in one yesterday that was doubtless the most exhilarating available in my zip code at the time.
Our back porch, usually a frying pan of sun-baked and warped wooden planks, had darkened as the bright oppressive heat of summer became filtered by a towering cloud mass moving through. What first sounded like a distant construction site accident coalesced into an auditory assault to rival an African stampede or a trench warfare scene from World War I. Subtle rumbles rolled through the air, building by the minute until great bellicose booms from the Earth's war drums cracked and shook the tall pines striving to stay upright in the mounting gales. The sky broke loose and all memory of dryness was cast aside to make way for the billion billion drops that soaked the land, trees, homes, minds of a dozen neighborhoods. I tossed on a hat and sandals to go enjoy the sensory feast.
On the steaming street I felt the sting of water falling at terminal velocity into my eyes, over my shoulders, against my back. Rain fell so thick as to obscure the view of the houses across the street. Looking up was impossible, and as I walked the lightning froze the muted landscape like a flashbulb before the thunder pounded my chest and eardrums a second or two later. Sheets of water ran over the pavement, among the grass blades, ditches filled in a matter of minutes, then poured over into yards and culverts. I walked amidst the raging storm past people huddled in their living rooms by yellow lamps peering out at the madness beyond their windows. A metallic swish seemed to be palpable before each white-hot bolt leapt between ground and sky, seconded by the gut-scrambling thunderclap. I kept towards the middle of the road to avoid the telephone poles and power lines while strolling the block in the downpour. Winds piled upon winds, blowing basketball hoops over, scattering thick green foliage and old dead branches across the street and yards or swirling into brown streetside torrents of runoff choked with detritus and bits of trash. Rounding a corner I spied through the blustery dancing rain a large dark mass slip off into a puddle next to a slope of drowning grass. Sure looked like a small weasel or similar creature ... but where did it go? A piercing croak on the other side of a culvert answered the question and a massive bullfrog frolicked into the dripping shiny mass of azalea leaves. Later, a driving cap apparently went scuttling clumsily along the grassy shoulder near a patch of forest. Inspection revealed it was a large red-eared slider turtle. I lifted it while rain continued to drench the world and checked out its peculiar hind legs. Not scarred, but not all there either, the turtle's wriggling displayed clubbed toe-less limbs in the rear, basically ankle bones wrapped in scaly skin. Strange, but the creature could still get around alright. I carried it off into the wet forest and laid it down on a bed of decomposing leaves, hoping its life would be long and happy. A minute later it took off and I did as well, heading back out into the open rain still cascading down in warm sheets.
By the time I reached my house a few miles later, the storm had passed though the sun had yet to return. What more enjoyable way to witness a thunderstorm's magnificent power and spectacle than directly beneath it, feeling the wind and water on your skin and the thunder beating directly on your soul?
Chronicles of the Wayward MootWELCOME TO THE MOOT, oh world-wanderers and word-whisperers. After two years of Peace Corps. After 2,200 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail. What. Comes. Next? |
6.29.2009
6.26.2009
MJ RIP OMG ROTFL JK
A.) Just the word Twitter drives me nuts.
B.) I don't wanna be startin' somethin' but I can't help it: I'm going off the wall with the bad desire to burn this disco out, so to speak. The latest thriller on the news is that Michael Jackson, the venerable, vulnerable and enigmatic King of Pop died yesterday. I suppose it's human nature that the media is working day and night to saturate the airwaves with his incredible but tragic story, but at some point they're going to beat it into the ground. The excess is simply off the wall, says I. Another part of me thinks that the glut of coverage can be pinned on just good friends from the entertainment industry doing what they can to jam Michaels's memory into all of us who loved his music so we remember the time when we could come together. It's surely dangerous to look at yesterday's news and think of it in purely black or white terms. Who is it who can keep the faith when an unparalleled visionary is gone too soon, when the man in the mirror trying to heal the world is in the closet, hiding from that smooth criminal lurking within. I can hear the countless fans the world over thinking, "Michael, the way you make me feel, I just can't stop loving you. I hope that you are not alone wherever you are. Smile and get on the floor so we can rock with you when we arrive." Whatever happens, some will cry and some will be speechless, but nobody can be invincible forever.
There. I paid my respects. Now can we all just get over it? Take care, Michael. Hasta la pasta.
6.07.2009
Long time no write...
Having braved treacherous stream crossings and bears and wild hogs in
the Smoky Mountains, then battled hundreds of carpenter bees while
repairing an eco-friendly cob house with my cousins outside of
Durham,NC I returned home via a 23 hour long bus ride (after first
enjoying a rollerderby match in Knoxville). Barely home at all, I
joined two good friends on a journey north for a graduation from med
school and a move from Shreveport to St. Louis. A day turned into a
week and before I knew it I'd been up the gateway arch, gotten a free
buzz courtesy of the Anheuser-Busch Company's brewery tour, and eaten
more food than I can remember since the hike last year. Even found a
Five Guys location and made some converts! More and more I think
about what the next step ought to be. I worry for my brother and also
for my parents, but in the family's challenges I feel I've lost some
of my own identity. Time to regain that independence and command of
my own direction. I take a train back to Louisiana soon and will put
earnest effort into figuring out a fitting next move. Thanks to those
friends out there who keep inspiring me with their own travels and
achievements, I appreciate you all.
P.S. This message was composed and sent via my amiga's new iPhone.
My gosh but this makes my thumbs feel huge and meaty! How do all
those techy-types do it? Peace....
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THE BLOG http://waywardmoot.blogspot.com
5.04.2009
Just a short and sweet note here. I added a link over on the right margin to the website run by one of my awesome cousins and her husband living up in North Carolina. They wrote a book called The Carbon-Free Home and I'm excited to be heading up to visit them soon. Hopefully we'll get to talk about sustainability, cultural (in)sanity, home retrofitting for efficiency, solar electric and heating technology, design, and installation, and perhaps I'll get some good insight and ideas as to a "career" direction. If not, it will still be a good opportunity to reconnect with family that I haven't seen in years. These cats are cool. They got some land out in the sticks, built a passive solar house out of natural materials, and grew much of their own food trying to live off the grid and not play into the unsustainable system that typifies modern society's means of existence. Through that experience the couple learned quite a lot, much of which they incorporate into their book and share with anyone interested in weaning themselves off of fossil fuel dependency while remaining a connected part of the human community. Excellent.
In the meantime, I've been busy in Mandeville dodging hailstones and rain, enjoying some delectable boiled crawfish, salad, and macaroni & cheese with great friends, helping to install a burglar/fire alarm system, spending time with my brother and his zippy little car, and getting excited over the excuse which will bring me in closer proximity to my enlightened cousin: a backpacking trip in the Great Smoky Mountains! Several years have passed since I've shouldered a pack and headed up into the Smokies, and I'm blessed to be able to return with some of the best friends I've ever known since their planned trip to Cancun was derailed by the hijinks of the H1N1 virus.
Being home watching late winter thaw into spring and rising temperatures usher in the coming of summer has been a treat for the senses (my goodness the fragrance of neighborhood flowers when I'm jogging or walking the dogs is intoxicating!) but I always have loved a change of scenery, so heading for the hills has gotten me thrilled. All the best to you all.
Labels: backpacking, carbon-free home, cousin, crawfish, Great Smoky Mountains, H1N1, solar power, sustainability
4.19.2009
SURGERY IN THE "DEVELOPING" WORLD
On Sunday April 5 I returned from an illuminating nine day trip to Guatemala in Central America. The original plan was to only spend eight days down there but when the airline overbooked the return flight and offered a nice hotel, free meals, and first class service back to New Orleans along with a decent voucher in exchange for leaving one day later, three of the other trip participants and I volunteered. The delay in returning allowed us such memorable extras as: A) Attending a millionaire's daughter's upscale birthday party complete with piles of ceviche, Guatemalan brews, margaritas, and dozens of fashionable young people doing shots and taking pictures with tiny cameras all to the rhythm of live music and professional dancers B) Feeling the rumble of several earthquakes originating beneath the very volcano that we had been working near for a week C) Heading down to the hotel restaurant already exhausted and content only to pile a room service tray with BBQ chicken sandwiches, fried calamari, fresh salad, a delightful assortment from the dessert buffet, and "muy muy onion rings!" (Thanks to a fellow flight-bump volunteer for providing that bit of Spanglish loveliness, hopefully the "jungle rot" on her arm will clear up ... at least the confused server was rewarded with a tip roughly equal to a day's pay courtesy of our airline-bestowed meal coupons) All of the unexpected niceties of a daylong layover in Guatemala City lent the end of the experience a definite high note that sweetened the entire week, but I want to focus on what transpired before flight 444 was overbooked and four of us were sent on a wacky tangent adventure in the Guatemalan capital city. We were, depending on your particular beliefs, literally on a mission from God.
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Helping Hands Medical Missions (HHMM) is a Catholic medical mission organization formed in 1996 that now runs missions for doctors, nurses, dentists, and other medical professionals and volunteers on three continents. This year the mission returned to Escuintla, Guatemala for the 8th time to work on two fronts - running a community clinic in San Vicente de Pacaya near the active Pacaya Volcano and performing surgical procedures in the National Hospital at Amatitlan. More than 30 missionaries comprised the Helping Hands team this year, the majority of whom were veterans of Escuintla or other mission trips around the world. Due to my Spanish language skills, certainly rusty a year after returning from Peace Corps service in Ecuador but still vastly more developed than those of nearly all of the other missionaries, I was chosen to work as a translator for the surgical team working at the hospital in Amatitlan.
I was alerted before signing up that Helping Hands is a very Catholic organization, and www.hhmm.org does mention a few details including daily mass, prayers, meditation, spiritual discussions, and even sharing the faith with host community members through home visits (evangelization). Anyone who knows me knows that organized religion is not typically my cup of tea, but in the interest of changing scenery and meeting new people in a setting where the shared activity is purportedly to selflessly help others less fortunate, I figured I would wrap up my typical skepticism and incredulity for the common good. Did exposure to the steamy hardscrabble life of tropical, dirt-poor central Americans convert me? Predictably, no, but the week did show me the meaning and power of faith in others and reminded me of how out of touch with true suffering and the realities of life many of us in modern America are.
The week began with a day of travel and schedule mishaps followed by two days of getting situated at the mission sites and spiritual programming including mass, prayers, and an afternoon of evangelizing to some of the poorest of the poor near the clinic site in San Vicente at the foot of Volcan Pacaya, usually hidden in a combination of low clouds and smog. Ask me what good it does to walk home to home praying for strangers, encouraging them to go to mass and giving away plastic rosaries when many are caked in dirt and don't even have shoes - you're asking the wrong person. Add to this the fact that most of those evangelizing can barely speak a word of the local language and you'll get nothing but a confused look from me. What can I say though? Does it make me a hypocrite that I introduced myself to residents clearly in need of more than a rosary and a blessing as a member of a Catholic medical missionary there to work in the community and to share God's love with them? These aren't easily answered questions. I played the role I was asked to play as a translator and a participator in the mission I legitimately signed up for. Whether I am a believer is less than central to the equation ... I looked at it in terms of whether those we were meeting with seemed to appreciate and enjoy some noticeable benefit from our visits and that much was not debatable. After mounting anticipation, sleep deprivation, and mentioning of the life and deeds of a man supposedly born more than 2,000 years ago on the other side of the planet several of the missionaries were anxious to get started doing something, anything that felt productive. Images of the stations of the cross, Jesus' sacrifice for our sins, the Eucharist, grown men in long robes carrying shiny chalices around in the sweltering heat and humidity, and well-fed white people making the sign of the cross over their chests while malnourished Guatemalans from the community wondered when and how they might be treated - characterized the first few days, perhaps leading one OB/GYN doctor from California to head back to the airport before he got caught up in any more of what he witnessed. Oh well, a cot opened up on the floor of one of the men's sleeping rooms at the guarded hacienda compound where we spent our nights and the day we'd been waiting for drew near: Monday, when the clinic and the operating rooms at the hospital would come to life and the principal way many of us were hoping to contribute would manifest itself in work that was more than self-congratulating and predominantly religiously exclusive.
The National Hospital at Amatitlan in Guatemala is not like the hospitals you may have visited in the United States. Yes, the doctors and nurses wear scrubs when they work, and they wash their hands and take other precautions to protect the patients, but the overall bright and sanitized environment of a typical American hospital is not really mirrored there. The place is built of concrete and cinder blocks, and seemingly the only spaces with air conditioning are the three operating rooms despite this being a tropical nation. Broken windows grace the walls along open air courtyards between wards and fallen leaves mingle with dust on the floor just outside of where surgery takes place. Patients who are aislado (isolated/quarantined) because of their contagious conditions are simply put in a part of the room at the far end, separated from the rest of the side-by-side beds by a low wall that doesn't even connect to the ceiling. None of the isolated patients are isolated from each other... Wandering through the pediatric ward, garish but well-meaning paintings of Winnie the Pooh and other characters lovingly scrawled on the cinder block walls peer down at the littlest citizens of the country in varying states of health and comfort on metal beds with worn mattresses. There's a little girl who's been in the ward for ten days with her grandmother watching over her. Kidney problems have caused her to swell up with fluids that she can't seem to pass out of her system. "The doctors say she can't drink anything until she passes the fluid, but she's so thirsty," the woman tells me. Moving on one sees a toddler complaining of his circumcision pains. "Me dueeeeleeeeee!" he cries. It huuuurts. A dark-haired baby lies on one small bed with a plastic half-bubble over its head. Where are the nurses, the attendants, the doctors? At least there are some parents (all women) watching the kids. This is supposedly a much nicer hospital than the one the mission has worked at previously.
Surgery. I've never worked in an operating room before and am a little nervous about how I'll handle the gore, but I'm helping an ear, nose, and throat doctor so most of the procedures are tonsillectomies and septoplasties - minor surgeries with a minimum of blood and Hollywood-style guts. After the massive confusion of the first morning has passed (Now we know the hospital's rules for what passes as sterile clothing in the operating theater) patients start appearing in the hallway outside of the operating rooms. Nobody has wrist bracelets to identify them. Charts and records are in metal binders tossed from doctor to nurse to surgeon to volunteer to translator (me) and vice versa. "What is he here for today?" I ask a Guatemalan woman guarding her son on a gurney.
"A hernia repair."
"Whoops, ok then, moving along." Ok, here's the kid with the tonsils. I ask the mother her child's age, weight, past surgical history, whether he or she suffers from asthma, allergies. Maybe it's a teenage girl. Is she or is there any chance that she's pregnant? I introduce the anesthesiologist. He's been doing this for twenty years, don't worry about a thing, he'll take very good care of Carla/Ernesto/Mayra/Tomasito/Lisbeth/etc., you can wait for your son/daughter over around the other corner ... now my attention is back to the patients. I ask about their brothers and sisters, where they live, what they want to do when they grow up, do they have any pets, anything to keep their attention from the scary people around them wearing masks and not speaking their language and brandishing needles and sticky sensors and clamps for their fingers. I explain that they'll be asleep during the operation, that we're going to put a mask on their face that smells a bit like plastic. Oxygen will go through the tube, breathe deeply. OK now they're putting an IV in your arm. Keep breathing deeply. You may feel some heat in your arm as the anesthesia goes in, you're doing great, everything is fine. We'll take very good care of you.
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In seconds the patient is out cold. I've never witnessed anything like it. One minute there's a person there talking to you, light reflecting in their eyes, maybe a little kid screaming for its mother. The next minute they're dead weight, arms slumping down off of the operating table, eyes wide open but seeing nothing, a rag doll. Very strange, where is the person, what happened to the soul? I take down information about the case for the mission records while the surgeon works. Blood gets slurped up through a suction tube. What happens if that machine fails? Or if the power goes out and the anesthesia machine stops? So much of what goes on in here is contingent on other factors falling into place correctly. Impressive that this hospital is so gracious about opening its doors and wards and patients to these foreigners with no real proof that the missionaries are competent professionals capable of doing a decent job. We sometimes struggle to communicate the simplest concepts: "We aren't going to bring this back to the States, so you can sterilize it and use it again." "These hair covers and gowns are for you." "Do you have any 3-0 sutures handy?" "We need another 1000cc's of saline." "Fentanyl, where is the Fentanyl?" I'm learning the English words for the medical terms at the same time that I'm expected to relay the requests to the local staff, so confusion results until we all get the hang of working together. Most of what is said is related through smiles, laughs, hugs, and gestures ... which is quite the fun way to get your point across when people's health is at stake! Everyone on our team from the active surgical doctors and technicians to the volunteers to the scarce translators to the nurses working in the recovery room to manage flailing kids and groggy adults without knowing a word of Spanish, we all throw up our hands and learn to let go of any desire to control or predict the outcome of the day. What happens will happen, and we're in their territory now. Guatemalan time rules. Where do these patients even come from? Who is changing them into their gowns? Does anybody know the order of the patients and who is bringing the next ones down? No. I don't know. No. No. We don't know that. One just has to laugh and marvel at how it somehow works out. We show up at 7am after rising at the hacienda before light at 5:15, gather up our supplies, and through some unseen magical process patients appear and undergo surgery, are moved to the recovery room, and are eventually wheeled right out into the open air hallway and back to their wards to settle into uncomfortable beds beside gunshot victims and that beautiful 38 year old nun or the guitar player missing two fingers after an attack. We can see them if we hunt them down individually and do just that after each long day, trying to find the patients we saw and make sure that they're doing alright, have the medicines they need to recover, and have their questions answered. There are few people who can answer our questions though.
In the evenings when the Blue Bird school bus (redecorated to serve as Guatemalan mass transit vehicle of choice) returns us to the hacienda we pass through a massive sugarcane plantation and witness the reality of a worker's life through the windows and dusty road haze. Men with machetes plodding along the fields of green cane, sometimes carrying irrigation pipes, sometimes lining up to get paid or to be hauled off to a far-flung corner of the property for work. Giant trucks with even bigger cargo trailers piled with cut cane stalks towering fifteen or more feet above the road. A refinery belching steam and smoke with the sweet reek of molasses and bicycles hanging up behind barbed wire, the workers' rides to and from home. The plantation is a massive machine needing constant feeding of cane, sweat, diesel, and time. None of what is produced here stays here, the bus driver tells us one day. He worked for the plantation corporation for five years ... says that all of the sugar is exported in bulk to Europe and elsewhere. The richness of the volcanic soil and the moistness of the tropical air and the muscles and effort of the Guatemalan people go into creating a product that none of the workers will ever enjoy personally, at least not from this plantation. I'm reminded of Eduardo Galeano's book Open Veins of Latin America which I read while in the Peace Corps. Hugo Chavez recently gifted a copy to President Obama, boosting sales on Amazon.com. Well, good. More people ought to be aware of the way Latin America has been commoditized over the centuries. What of it? We eat breakfast and dinner at a pavilion behind more chain link fencing with the protection of armed guards. We're here as Catholic (some of us) missionaries with the goal of offering medical assistance and the word of Christ to the underprivileged of this country, is this kind of precaution necessary? At night a guard with a shotgun sits in the chapel belltower. As if we could be awakened at 3am by the sound of a protective shotgun blast ringing out among the mango trees? Protection against whom? You want some medicine, then go to the clinic! Despite the truth of the cheerfulness and graciousness of the Guatemalan people we met, there is a tension here as in many developing nations between the power of the wealthy and the numbers of the poor.
My memories of the mission are mostly good. I would certainly like to participate again, despite the deficiencies in communication, planning and organization. Negative associations were outweighed by the quality of character demonstrated by fellow participants and the impressive quantity of Guatemalans served by our work, despite the many hours spent in transit or at mass, meditating, or discussing faith among ourselves instead of good health practices among the obviously needier Guatemalans. The clinic team saw more than 1,500 patients and performed exams, distributed medications, and did dental work on many hundreds of people who would have little chance to receive such treatment otherwise. Our team at the hospital did about 70 surgeries and many minor consultations thanks to the doctors and other dedicated volunteers. Hospital staff went out of their way to show their appreciation by hosting a luncheon on our final day featuring a DJ playing local hits, fresh flowers, and a scrumptious lunch catered by a restaurant in Guatemala City. Plenty of classic Latin American pomp and circumstance was strutted about, including long-winded speeches and official introductions capped by the presentation of certificates of appreciation to the surgical team. Apparently the clinic team also received a lovely party in San Vicente for its significant efforts. It would have been great to get to know more members of the clinical team a bit better but the nature of the mission really split the work into two fronts that rarely met at times when the constituent parties weren't exhausted from long days and little rest. That is, I suppose, why there was a post-mission crawfish boil hosted at one of the missionary's homes yesterday. Good food, great friends, and lots of laughs and brews to celebrate the bonds we formed and strengthened in our service to others. Many would have appreciated the opportunity to see more of the host country by visiting a volcano or a lake or hearing talks or presentations about the sugar cane production or other aspects of local life there, and unfortunately little to no attention was placed on providing experiences outside of medical work or spiritual devotion. In several instances participants themselves created their own cultural experiences outside of the mission parameters and while these were rewarding to some, they failed in their exclusiveness and inapplicability to the entire mission team. Many wondered what the point was of coming all the way to Guatemala and dealing with the added complication of a language barrier when there is plenty of need for free health care in underserved communities in the States. Without the chance for real cultural immersion planned into the trip, participants sometimes felt rushed from the isolated religious compound of the hacienda to a private pavilion for meals and then to the microcosm of working in a fishbowl hospital or clinic setting without much chance to get to know the country or its people outside of a treatment scenario. Perhaps Peace Corps spoiled me for travel, but I certainly felt as if eight days were not nearly enough to get the essence of Guatemala in such a limited manner. Maybe on future trips Helping Hands Medical Missions can take a scalpel to its schedule and do some reconstructive surgery to improve the experience for participants and beneficiaries alike.
If YOU think a similar experience could bring out the best in you or reignite your sense of adventure and service to God (or equivalent deity, etc.), by all means investigate whether participating on a mission trip would be a good choice for you. Check out www.hhmm.org
Of course googling "Medical Missions" will lead you down a rabbit hole of dozens of other opportunities to serve in various capacities in locations all over the world. Serve on a ship, on an island, high in the Andes or down in the steamy Amazon, in a city, town, village, or jungle clearing. Whatever you do, don't forget to take your bible, a sense of humor, and a grain of salt. Ciao for now.
3.24.2009
Lympho Mania
The evening of March 21st I went into New Orleans with my parents to attend the seventh annual "Lympho Mania 70s Dance Party" begun by a great guy from our extended family diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma years ago but who made a full recovery and wanted to organize something to raise money for cancer research. This year's event was the biggest yet with more than 1,000 tickets sold and the celebrity involvement of Donald Trump, Jr. as judge of the dance contest. A number of well-regarded restaurants catered the event held on two moody floors of renovated space at Republic New Orleans in the warehouse district. While eating, drinking, dancing and admiring outrageous costumes, this year's participants raised $30,000 for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. Now of course you know that New Orleans is known for its Mardi Gras carnival festivities where revelers dress in ways not normally acceptable in everyday life, but the Lympho Maniac party proves that Fat Tuesday is not the only chance to let flamboyance reign supreme. Among those Donald Trump Jr. evaluated were "The Purple Pimp," a voluptuous disco Wonder Woman, a gentleman conspicuously resembling Ron Jeremy, and a middle-aged couple in skin tight metallic leotards leaving frustratingly little to the imagination. My dad was more subdued in a military jacket, cargo pants, and a faux-leather cap with shoulder-length artificial hair attached. Tossing on some slim sunglasses he looked like a cross between Sergeant Pepper and Ozzy Osbourne. Mom cleans up a little more attractively and could even be seen dancing in the background of the local news spot that aired wearing her aqua minidress with matching headband and white go-go boots. I scrounged up some hideous plaid pants and a brown patent leather jacket with wide lapels to go with an old Austin Powers shirt. Adding a gold beaded necklace finished the look. Not the most polished, but at least original and not simply a bought costume like many were dressed in. The night out was punctuated for the palate by rum and Cokes, delectable turtle soup, crawfish and pasta dishes, and a breathtaking bread pudding. Eardrums resonated to ABBA, Cool and the Gang, Gloria Gaynor, and even some anachronistic Guns n' Roses helping to keep the platform shoes stomping and the towering afros rocking. We'd gotten our fill of food, dance, glitz, and tacky glamour after the featured dance contest and so headed for the night breezes out on the street, but no doubt the Lympho Maniacs kept rocking the dance floor a good while longer. After all, it was for a good cause.
I began this post with a description of the events of last Friday night so as to share a bit of what I'm up to, but what I'd really like to write about is something related but much more personal and near to the heart. The Lympho Maniac party exists to raise awareness and funds for cancer research and this topic unfortunately is quite prevalent in our family lately. As many of you know, my younger brother was diagnosed with Ewing's Sarcoma in 2003 when he was 20. That very rare bone cancer attacked his jaw and after surgery and a tough regimen of chemotherapy and radiation treatments the disease was forced into remission. Until last October.
Since his first diagnosis and treatment my brother had gone back to college and graduated, worked on and grown a small business, and eventually decided to move in with some friends in Texas and get on with his life. The cancer had been gone for enough years that the sentiment became one of cautious optimism. Unfortunately, not long after moving to Texas he learned that pains he was experiencing were more serious than the kidney stones he suspected. After meeting with doctors and undergoing more tests it was determined that the sarcoma had returned. My brother, now 25, returned home to Louisiana to be near our parents and weigh options for further treatment. Around that same time I was nearing the end of my 2008 hike of the Pacific Crest Trail and weighing options for what was to come next. After another couple of months out west traveling, house-sitting, and soul-searching I too returned to my hometown north of Lake Pontchartrain and it is there that I'm still living.
Why bring this up? Because these are tough times for everyone in this family and especially for my brother (Side note: He and my mom just returned from a chemotherapy treatment at the hospital), and I want to dedicate this update to expressing how much I care for him and admire his inspiring courage in facing this illness again.
There are countless things I could mention about my brother. He was one of the cutest little kids the world has borne witness to, especially when wearing a bucket or dog's food dish on his head. When he said "lemon" it sounded like "women," so the big laugh was to ask him if he liked lemons and listen for the hilarious answer. When he was really small he had some very plump legs that people used to compare to our great grandmother's. When the baby fat eventually diminished my brother was not only cute, he had become one of the funniest and quickest-witted people I've ever known. Amazingly observant and with a completely encyclopedic knowledge of all kinds of automobiles, he was THE go-to guy for any information about anything with four wheels and an engine. Pretty much like Marisa Tomei's character on My Cousin Vinny. Driving at night he can tell you what make and model is coming the other direction just from the headlights long before you can see the shape of the vehicle, amazing. He has the uncanny ability to nap through anything anywhere, period. He makes friends wherever he goes, as evidenced by the support he received from his fraternity brothers and the boxes and envelopes which arrive in the mail all the time, not to mention how he's the nurses' favorite in the hospital infusion suite. Must be the mischievous twinkle always in his eyes, which he uses to charm animals as well as people - just ask the rats, ferrets, guinea pigs, rabbits, hamsters, flying squirrel, dogs, and pig that he's had as pets. That's not even the full list... He works on his own cars, started to build his own guitar, and can find and buy anything on Ebay. He's inquisitive and adventurous, having traveled to Mexico, Costa Rica, Jamaica, the Cayman Islands, Alaska, and Ecuador as well as having completed an epic drive from Louisiana to New York to Los Angeles and back to New Orleans.
So very many great things make my brother who he is and yet there are many other aspects of him I don't yet know regarding his dreams, aspirations, sensitivities, cares and concerns. For years I've felt that we'd grown apart but unable to pinpoint exactly when or why. He was living his life and I was off living mine and we may have clashed a bit when together but it seems like there's always some tension when people come home after being away. I think about that tension now and see what a useless waste of energy it is. In addition, I recognize what an incredible opportunity it is just to be home again for a while in terms of reconnecting with the family and especially my brother. There is of course a good deal of anxiety to navigate here relating to the illness and its implications, and I'm dealing with a strong uncertainty over how long I'll be in Louisiana and what I'll do here or wherever I head to next. That said, just getting to spend this much time working on things with my dad, talking and hanging out with my mom, and witnessing my brother's recovery is a positive consequence to the less than ideal circumstances and I'm thankful for all of these chances to grow closer to each of them.
To my one and only brother I simply want to say: We haven't always had the greatest of relationships and I own my part in that being the reality. What's important is that we can recognize past problems for what they were and face today as a new day. I admire your strength so much and am very glad to be able to spend this time with you even though it's difficult. You'll get through this. I love you.
2.16.2009

From the left: My aunt, my grandmother, me, our host's husband, their daughter, our host, my uncle, and my mom. I have to say that yesterday's trip downtown to do the Carrolton Parade was the BEST TIME I've had since returning to Louisiana. I think more good times are on the way as this latest development in life really sets in. I'm back. I'm back in Louisiana for really the first time in nine years.
One of the floats depicting the awful state of the economy of late. Oh well, beads to catch and food to munch. Let the good times roll, as they say!

The mother of our host prepares to head back up to the office with her giant box of Mard Gras loot. The poignant thought that instantly came to me was "You can't take it with you." But this wasn't an image of an elderly woman clutching desperately to her hoarded riches. She was just there to enjoy the Krewe of Carrolton parade and catch some throws if she could. 
This float depicted the volatility of the oil industry and the fluctuation of gas prices, etc. After all of the deep thinking I've been doing about that and the future of civilization, to see it reflected in this deeply cultural artform was intriguing. Maybe the topic is in more of the collective consciousness than I thought.
The King of the Krewe of Carrolton, 2009. He was a friend of my uncle (who was riding on float #16) and our host, herself a friend of my aunt and uncle.
Notice the ornately carved United Fruit Company doorway arch. From wikipedia:
The United Fruit Company was frequently accused of bribing government officials in exchange for preferential treatment, exploiting its workers, contributing little by way of taxes to the countries in which it operated, and working ruthlessly to consolidate monopolies. Latin American journalists sometimes referred to the company as el pulpo ("the octopus"), and leftist parties in Central and South America encouraged the Company's workers to strike. Criticism of the United Fruit Company became a staple of the discourse of the communist parties in several Latin American countries, where its activities were often interpreted as illustrating Lenin's theory of capitalist imperialism. Major Latin American writers sympathetic to more independence from foreign governments and corporations, such as Carlos Luis Fallas of Costa Rica, Ramón Amaya Amador of Honduras, Miguel Ángel Asturias of Guatemala, Gabriel García Márquez of Colombia, and Pablo Neruda of Chile, denounced the Company in their literature.
The business practices of United Fruit were also frequently criticized by journalists, politicians, and artists in the United States. Little Steven released a song called "Bitter Fruit" about the company's misdeeds. In 1950, Gore Vidal published a novel (Dark Green, Bright Red), in which a thinly fictionalized version of United Fruit supports a military coup in a thinly fictionalized Guatemala.

This guy was next to us for the entire parade. I think he had cerebral palsy or something similar. No worries though, he seemed very nice and definitely enjoyed himself. People-watching at Mardi Gras has to be some of the best on the planet.

Random photos from the last few weeks. These nice folks are the ones I rode with from Portland, Oregon to the Vipassana course in Onalaska, WA. Quite an experience to ride up getting to know some really cool people for a couple of hours and then suddenly be bound to noble silence and unable to communicate with any of your new friends for more than a solid week, even though they're right there...
Final goodbye photo of me with one of the kindest and most open and encouraging families I've ever met. I cannot ever thank them enough for the positive energy they shared with me during my time(s) in Bend.
Two haunting images of the results of freezing fog that rolled through Bend during my last week there. Innocuous-looking branches whirl and twist into the sky, but after the fog they become jagged and aggressively covered with spikes of ice. Beautiful.

